All of this “international garbage” on the internet is annoying Americans

Chicago, IL- The abundance of international news available on the internet has made it increasingly difficult for the average American to ignore the rest of the world. According to a trend researcher at Oakton Community College, it is becoming harder and harder for the average American to live up to their proud heritage of disregarding every country but their own.

“The internet nowadays has too much unnecessary information,” says Rob Allen, a student at UIC in Chicago. “I mean, who really wants to know that 2,500 kids are dying every day in Africa from contaminated water? I just want to see if they are going to fix the potholes outside of my favorite bar.” Mr. Allen is also bothered by some of the options of these websites. “Did you know that Yahoo is available in different languages? As if everybody in the world doesn't speak English, yeah right.”

Another survey participant from Michigan is irritated by this blasphemy as well. He says that news about another country has no point because it has nothing to do with him. “Listen, I can see where it might be important to talk about another country, like when we beat them in some type of Olympic event or bomb them or, ideally, both. But, when some leader in Sudan kills a family of five because they are of a different class and America isn't involved, what’s that have to do with me?”

Other survey respondents said that they are shocked and appalled, not just by the availability of non-U.S. news, but by the way important U.S. news is not even being reported in these foreign sites. “Yesterday, for instance, the Philadelphia Eagles beat the Chicago Bears and I go on the translated version of the Japanese Times to read more about it and its not even there,” said Craig Brown of Skokie,IL. “Geez, no wonder why we nuked those guys.”

Indeed, with all the foreign newspapers and multi-lingual sites, it is almost impossible for the average American to remain uninformed. “You’d think that all these internet people would know that,” added Mr. Brown. “ I mean, that’s why its called America Online, right? Its supposed to be about America.”